For those that are new to the idea of self care as a lifestyle, it may also be somewhat of a struggle to know where to start or even what to do on a daily basis that makes it more of a lifestyle. The most simplified and vague response is that it depends on what you need on a given day.
Expanding on that, if you remember from the last post, we talked about self care being different things that support your overall wellbeing. One example was avoiding things, which can include people, place and activities that increase stress in your life. I like to encourage check ins with yourself daily or throughout the day. This can be related to a physical need, an emotional need, a need for connection or many other things. As I sit here and type this, I feel tight in several places in my body. Some is related to lack of activity and some is related to an increase. My back and shoulders feel tight from sitting at a desk for long hours on a regular basis and my calves are tight from back to back days of walking and hiking. Being in tuned with my body in this way tells me I need to make time to stretch. It could even hint at a need for a visit to the chiropractor.
Sit with yourself and check in. How is your social meter? Depleted? Full? Do you need an opportunity for social connection or do you need time alone to recharge your battery? Physically how are you? Any aches? Pains? Not quite right physical feelings? Spiritually how are? Do you need to meditate? Go into a religious space? Connect with a spiritual or religious community? Pray? Read a religious text? How are you FEELING? Have you tried to avoid any particular emotions lately? Need to get something off your chest? Need a good cry? Need a nap? Food? Water? These and so many more questions can help you take a moment to be intentionally in tune with yourself. Many of us spend so much time in autopilot that we miss when our mind, body and/or spirit try to tell us something. This list is long but not exhaustive.
A shorter but still specific way to approach this is to ask yourself how am I:
- Physically
- Mentally
- Emotionally
- Socially
And then follow up with asking, what do I need in each of those areas? For those of us that need a visual to make it make sense:
| Area | How am I? | What do I need? |
| Physically | More tired than usual, almost chronic | A trip to the doctor or more sleep |
| Mentally | Drained, unable to make decisions or think clearly | A day without the pressures of “adulting” |
| Emotionally | Drained, feeling like a ball of emotions and not really sure why | Taking time to sit with and sort through the emotions |
| Socially | Disconnected, lonely | Time with loved ones to restore feeling of connectedness |
This is not an exhaustive list but examples of potential things you could be experiencing and things you could to do in order to improve your wellbeing and support yourself in those moments. This also does not encompass all the areas you can focus on to contribute to your wellbeing.
There is no right or wrong answer to what you should do to care for yourself, just a matter of what works best for you and not someone else.