There’s an astronomical number of social media posts and branding targeting self care. So much of it can sometimes seem a little copy and paste. The messaging makes it look like self care is bubble baths, brunch, spa treatments and Pinterest curated home organization. While for some people this could be true, there are a lot that this would not appeal to or work for. 

The National Institute of Health describes self care as taking the time to do things that help you live well and improve both your physical and mental health. While social media shows that the way to achieve this is a Pinterest worthy coffee station in your kitchen that came straight out of a magazine this is  and while for some this may help their mental well being it is so much more than spa days and soft life posts. 

If you hear lawn care what comes to mind? If you are anything like me, you think of more than just getting the grass cut. There is weed control, pest control, fertilizing and a ton of other things that are involved outside of just cutting the grass and edging the perimeter. More than just making it look nice you have to treat it. Self care is similar in that it is more than what people see you do that goes into self care. More than a day at the salon to look good on the outside. Self care is all the stuff that makes you feel good on the inside too. 

Ok but why do we keep hearing about it and who needs it? It is truly for everyone. It has become somewhat of a buzz word and sensationalized but honestly, we all need to take care of our overall wellbeing. We hear about it a lot surrounding brunch with friends, spa days, or anything else on the common self care Sunday or Saturday posts. People will shower and complete a skin care routine, post it and tag self care. While these things are all great and all contribute to your well being, they are treated like luxuries or things we only do once a week at best. Everyone should indulge in the care of themselves daily!  I don’t know about you but I am not interested in reserving feeling good to my weekends.  Do you think you should only do things that bring you peace, joy, help you relax, give you energy etc once a week? How often do you think it is important for you to engage in self care?

Let’s go back for a moment and stick with the idea that self care is the stuff you do that helps you both feel good inside and look good (whatever that means to you) on the outside as we continue to talk through it. Outside of hair, nails, spa treatments, clothes and anything else that you think helps you personally to look good, what helps you feel good? For me, it’s home cooked meals, sleep and hydration. Too much fast food or just eating out period I feel bloated and heavy. Not enough sleep I am not an ideal person to be around and not enough water gives me headaches. I also like hiking and being near water. Something about it helps me to feel calm and less stressed. It could be the break from technology but even on days I am home and sleep the day away, I don’t get the peace nature gives me so there is something to being outside that helps me feel my best. I challenge you to get a piece of paper or if you prefer, make a new note on a tablet or phone and make a list of what helps you actually feel good. What gives you a sense of peace and calm?

So if it is more than just going to the spa on a Saturday morning and then meeting friends for brunch what is it? It can be the avoidance or limitation of things, for example the news creates stress for some people (🖐🏽me, I am some people) so limiting the amount of news we take in could be a way you take care of your wellbeing. It can be the addition of or increase of something, for example someone with a desk job may get stiff often and they increase the frequency of times they stand up and stretch throughout the day to help counter it. This helps their physical wellbeing. 

What it could be

• Sleeping in on a Saturday and skipping the early morning workout
• Not skipping that workout
• Good sleep hygiene
• Using your dishwasher to free up your time (a new practice for me)
• Spending time in nature, on a hike, near water, on your porch
• Waking up early to enjoy your morning coffee before the rest of your house wakes up and you are “on duty”
• Limiting screen time
• Cultivating relationships with people you align with
• Distancing yourself from relationships that don’t not allow you to be your authentic self
• Making time for a hobby or finding a new one
• Taking a nap or break instead of trying to “push through”
• Avoiding the news before a certain time of the day or after a certain time of the day
• Spending quality time with loved ones

What else it could be

• Brunch with friends
• Uninterrupted nail appointments 
• Restocking your Pinterest worth pantry
• An evening routine to declutter and clean your home 

We do not have to overcomplicate this practice. Self care is nothing more than taking care of you physically, mentally and emotionally and for some in a few other ways like spiritually and socially. There is no set way to take care of yourself. What self care looks like for you might be very different from what it looks like for your friends and family. The key is figuring out what you need and incorporating those things into your routine or daily life. The things you need could vary by day as well but it is up to you to figure out what you need and at what frequency.  

There is not right or wrong way to take care of yourself. The only wrong way is trying to do what works for someone else and trying to force yourself to benefit from it. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you are authentic to you.